I don't know what to say...

I'm thinking that today isn't going to be that great of a day-how pessimistic I know! Yesterday I wasn't thinking straight and I let alex finish his ice cream cone in the car on the way home (he was almost done, already covered in ice cream and I just wanted to get home). Rocio was crying so alex was supper nice and shared his ice cream with her. I wasn't turning around because I was really sore but when she was finally quiet for an extended period of time I looked to see why and freaked out yelling "Don't feed the baby ice cream!" this scared alex and he started to cry and then Chio started crying again as well. Apologizing to alex calmed him down but the baby cried for the rest of the way home. Sure enough a few hours later she started screaming uncontrollably and I started in with the Tylenol (that looks so wrong-is that even how you spell it?) and gas relief drops. Last time I had some milk the crying lasted about 24 hours so that is what I'm anticipating now- poor thing she barely slept all night - I feel like such a horrible mother I can't believe that I let this happen.

Then this morning I woke up with a fever of 102 which I hope is associated with a breast infection so I'm not contagious and about to put our little family through another bout of sickness. I'm sore all over and my breast hurt so much that I couldn't relax enough to breast feed (actually I could barely hold Chio on my lap with out wanting to cry when she moved-I'm such a baby)-so I called the doctor to make sure I wouldn't hurt Chio by overdosing her if I took something for my pain in addition to what she is taking for hers. She confirmed that you can get a fever with a breast infection (I couldn't remember) and then after my reluctance to agree to go to the doctor to get antibiotics today (I think Chio wailing, alex yelling and the desperation in my voice had an effect on her) she said that the baby would be fine if I took something, but I needed to watch my fever and the lump and if they didn't go away I really needed to go in before it got too bad. I thanked her and hung up. So that brings us to this moment when alex is taking a nap and I'm in front of the computer bouncing on the yoga ball to keep Chio settled. Unfortunately the area on me in question does not stay stationary during such an activity so her contentment is not bought without a price (but since it is my fault I don't mind that much-now that I have pain killers). So much for not wanting to use drugs. So I just thought that I would blog about it to get it all off my chest (ha ha ha).